Co-sleeping is a topic that has generated much debate among parents, pediatricians, and researchers. Proponents tout its benefits, such as better sleep for both parents and babies. However, concerns about the risk of SIDS and other safety issues have led others to caution against it.
In this post, we review current safety guidelines and provide helpful tips for parents considering co-sleeping. Plus, I’ll share what I did with my own kids when they were babies!
What is co-sleeping?
Co-sleeping is when parents share a sleeping space with a baby or young child, usually until the first year of life. Many parents decide to share a room for longer.
Some define co-sleeping as having the baby within arm’s reach, while others define it as parents and baby sleeping in the same room. Room sharing can involve the baby sleeping next to the parent’s bed or in a crib or crib across the room. Room sharing is fairly accepted—at least for the first six months of life.
Bed sharing, however, is more controversial. Bed sharing is exactly what it sounds like: sleeping with your baby in the same bed. It’s more common than you might think. In 2015, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) conducted a survey of caregivers.
More than half of the caregivers surveyed (61%) indicate that they share their bed at least some of the time.
Benefits of Co-Sleeping
Co-sleeping with a baby can have physical and emotional benefits for both parents and baby:
Increased adhesion
Co-sleeping can strengthen the bond between parents and babies. The closeness increases opportunities for interaction, such as nursing and comforting. Sleeping with parents at night can also provide a sense of security for the baby. This sense of security can lead to better emotional development and reduced separation anxiety.
Promotes breastfeeding
Co-sleeping makes nighttime breastfeeding easier. It may make mothers decide to breastfeed longer (6+ months) because it is easier to maintain it night after night.
A 1997 study even found that babies who shared a bed breastfed more often and for longer. They had more breastfeeding episodes and spent three times as much time during the night compared to single sleepers.
Lower risk of cot death
One added benefit is that breastfeeding can reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). A German study found that formula-fed babies not only had an increased risk of SIDS, but they had a DOUBLE risk compared to breastfed babies.
Sleeping with parents can also reduce the risk of SIDS. Sleeping near parents helps regulate the baby’s breathing and body temperature. Healthy breathing patterns can also reduce the risk of SIDS.
Benefits Bite development
Easier breastfeeding may have even more far-reaching benefits. A 2022 study found that co-sleeping as an infant improved teething development as a toddler.
Children who co-sleep as infants were less likely to use a pacifier or suck their thumbs. As a result, they were less likely to develop an overbite, crossbite, or open bite. They ultimately had better facial development as a result of co-sleeping.
Better sleep for parents
With the baby nearby, nighttime care tasks such as feeding and comforting can be easier and faster, making it more likely that parents will get a good night’s sleep.
Is co-sleeping safe?
New parents may wonder if bedsharing is safe. Bedsharing is actually the biological norm and has been common throughout history. Western societies simply moved away from it for convenience. It can be safe as long as parents follow certain customs.
One of those practices is breastfeeding. Breastfed babies have a symbiotic relationship with their mothers and can sleep safely. However, bottle-fed babies are safer in a side sleeper or in a crib next to the mother.
Dr. James McKenna is the director of the Mother-Baby Sleep Laboratory at the University of Notre Dame and is widely regarded as a leading expert on co-sleeping. He explains that there are several reasons why co-sleeping with breastfed versus bottle-fed infants is not the same:
“For starters, breastfeeding changes where and how the baby is placed next to the mother, and the infant’s arousal patterns, how sensitive the baby and mother are to each other’s movements, sounds and proximity, as well as those of the infant and mother. Sleep architecture (how much time each person spends in different sleep stages and how and when they transition from one sleep stage to another) is very different between bottle-feeding and breastfeeding mother-infant pairs.”
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) still recommends against bed sharing in their updated 2022 guidelines. They warned that it increases the risk of cot death. But cot death is a bigger problem when sharing beds with premature babies and children with low birth weight. Healthy, full-term babies are not at much risk as long as parents follow safe sleep practices.
Dr. McKenna also reviewed the research that allegedly links SIDS to co-sleeping. He says that the interpretations of co-sleeping and SIDS research findings contain many inaccuracies and inconsistencies.
There will always be examples of people who don’t practice safe bed sharing. That doesn’t mean that no one should do it. And it’s important to note that suffocation from unsafe co-sleeping is not Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), even though the two are often lumped together.
Safe co-sleeping
Here are some safe bed-sharing practices. Keep in mind that these apply to both daytime and nighttime naps:
- Breastfed babies may sleep safest next to their mother (rather than with their father)
- Babies under one year old should not sleep with older children
- Infants should be placed on a firm sleeping surface (not a waterbed or couch)
- Make sure that the headboard and footboard have no gaps where the baby can get trapped during the night. The mattress should fit snugly against the headboard to ensure safe sleep for your baby.
- Sheepskins are not a good idea; nor are weighted blankets, quilts or pillows. They can increase the risk of overheating and suffocation. Stick to lightweight baby blankets.
- A well-fitting baby sleeping bag can help provide the baby with separate bedding to prevent suffocation
- Remove anything that could pose a strangulation risk, such as jewelry, pacifier clips and teething chains
- Some parents choose to use a crib next to the bed so that the sleeping baby is close by and gives him/her his/her own space.
Britain’s Lullaby Trust has also put together a guide to safe mattress and bedding options for co-sleeping. They emphasize using a firm, flat mattress and avoiding soft or bulky bedding.
What about teaching independence?
Some parents may worry that their child will never leave their bed. However, many of the ideas from baby sleep training apply here. A good way to start is to gradually transition your baby to their own sleeping space. Start with a few minutes in their crib or crib. Then gradually increase the amount of time you sleep alone.
Respond to your baby’s needs during the transition period. Comfort them if they become upset, but encourage them to go back to sleep in their own sleeping space. A favorite blanket or stuffed animal can help him calm down and go back to sleep if he wakes up during the night.
Another concern is that co-sleeping as babies makes children less independent as they get older. The good news is that research shows it’s quite the opposite. Early co-sleepers as toddlers were more self-reliant and independent than children who did not co-sleep as infants.
Co-sleeping and bed sharing are common practices around the world. They are not new concepts. You might be surprised how many world leaders throughout history shared their bed with their mothers as babies.
It’s not all or nothing
It is important to remember that it does not have to be “all or nothing.” Once your baby is sleeping through the night, it may be time to gradually work on moving your baby into his or her own room. Parents can use co-sleeping as part of baby-led sleep training.
There may also be times when it is not ideal for a baby to sleep in an adult bed. For example, if a parent has a respiratory illness or the flu, it is probably best to have the child sleep alone in a crib or bassinet. A night when one or both parents have been drinking alcohol is another time to sleep separately.
Many parents simply don’t feel comfortable sharing a bed. That’s totally okay! Parents who sleep deeply, take certain medications, are sick, etc., may not want a baby in their bed with them. Whatever the case, there is no judgment here. Sharing a room is still an excellent option.
What I do/did
When my children were babies, I shared a bed with them for the first few months. I had gotten used to the baby being close in the womb, so it was a natural transition to have them sleep next to me in the bed. As the baby started moving more, I also started to feel more comfortable letting them sleep alone.
Of course, sleeping arrangements will vary depending on each individual baby and family. Do what works best for you.
What do you think about co-sleeping? Have you ever bed-sharing or room-sharing with your little ones? Share it with us below!
