Conventional wisdom holds that married people live longer and are healthier than single people. And research shows this may be true. Research shows that married people, especially men, are less likely to die early and less likely to die from heart disease or stroke. But why? And what about people who are in a committed relationship but haven’t yet said, “I do”? Or those who are happily single? Experts weigh in on long-term love and your well-being.
Safer behavior. Christopher Fagundes, PhD, a psychologist and researcher at Ohio State University, says there is less risk-taking and fewer resources used when couples get married — even less than when they simply move in together.
Socially connected. “If you’re married, ideally that’s your closest relationship,” says Janice Kiecolt-Glaser, PhD, S. Robert Davis, chair of medicine at Ohio State University. “That means having a partner and a direct source of support readily available.”
On the other hand, says psychiatrist Sudeepta Varma, MD, of NYU Langone Medical Center, people who are alone and unhappy are at risk of social isolation. This can lead to depression and neglect of health.
Health assistance. UCLA psychologist Theodore Robles, PhD, says, “Your partner has a big influence on your own behavior. You have someone to remind you that you shouldn’t eat that; that you should have one less drink.” That means your partner can help you maintain healthy habits.”
People who have a happy marital relationship are also more likely to follow their doctor’s recommendations, research shows.
Living with your partner can also have health benefits. “The general consensus is that cohabitation does have positive effects, but not to the same extent as marriage,” says Fagundes.
Much of the research in this area has been done among heterosexual couples. But the experts interviewed for this story didn’t see why the benefits of having a partner shouldn’t extend to same-sex partnerships.
“The love and support — and how that translates into taking better care of ourselves when we have someone invested in our happiness — is immeasurable,” says Varma.
Just wearing a ring is not enough. A better marriage can mean better health.
A study of heart bypass patients showed better survival over fifteen years among happily married people. But the downside is also true. Having an unhappy marriage can be unhealthy.
Why? One reason may be that chronic stress from a bad marriage can compromise the immune system, and women may be particularly vulnerable.
Women are more sensitive to hostility in a relationship than men, says Kiecolt-Glaser. Her team filmed couples who disagreed. “Couples who were more hostile during disagreements showed greater changes in stress hormones and healed wounds less quickly,” she says. In short, increased hostility can hamper the immune systems of couples with chronic relationship problems.
But the quality of relationships can also affect men. “We now know that depression, obesity and high blood pressure can all result from women suffering in unhappy marriages,” says Varma. “But I also see a lot of substance abuse and depression in my male patients in the same situation.”
Based on her practice, Varma believes that men and women are equally affected by unhappy relationships; the results just manifest differently.
Of course, people can thrive on their own.
“If someone is single, this may or may not indicate difficulty building close relationships,” says Varma. “For some, this is the case. For others, it’s simply that they haven’t found their life partner yet. The key would be to surround yourself with good people who care about you, and who you are willing to help.”
The same goes for people who divorce.
Divorce is linked to a greater risk of premature death, especially among men, notes David Sbarra, PhD, associate professor at the University of Arizona, Tucson. But “most divorced adults do well and enjoy a high quality of life after the end of their marriage,” says Sbarra. “Therefore, it is likely that if you are in an unhappy marriage and have tried to work it out but it just isn’t working out, divorce is a real and reasonable option. If you are divorcing and feeling happy, I wouldn’t worry either .a lot about the potential negative health consequences.”
Women can do better on their own than men. “When we look at single people and health, we see that women tend to do well and men not so well, most likely for the same reasons men benefit more from marriage,” says Fagundes.
