Welcome to Deadspin’s The Sports Nihilist, where everything is for nothing and we are nothing but accidental jolts of electrified flesh stuck to the surface of a rock in an indifferent universe. F*ck you.
Two of the most important storylines during the N.F.L The draft process involved a few rookie quarterbacks who have now been out for a week (or two) due to injuries. Scouts wondered if Bryce Young was big enough to play quarterback at the next level, and also marveled at Anthony Richardson’s Adonis-like body. Well, the former Alabama QB and Heisman winner will miss about a week with a sprained ankle, and the Colts’ First-year starter sidelined due to concussion protocol.
Richardson left Indianapolis’ first game late in the final quarter due to knee and ankle pain and recklessness. That same fearlessness (naiveté?) got him into the end zone twice in Week 2 before the second TD run ended and his head bounced off the grass-covered field. concretely, and if you think there’s a perfect archetype for the NFL quarterback, Richardson is proof that no amount of physical talent or rule changes guarantees a long career.
So if head trauma is this great equalizer, why obsess over stature and the ability to take physical punishment when any QB could go at any time? I’d pick Young first a million times in a million if I did it again, and if he breaks, there will always be another body to take his place.
Is it a bit nihilistic? Absolutely, but that’s the NFL’s business model. Seven years out of Tua Tagovailoa is better than 15 seasons of Ryan Tannehill. I bet Bill Belichick would trade Mac Jones for Young tomorrow.
Guys like Tom Brady, John Elway and Patrick Mahomes are anomalies; Jedis walking among us can navigate small and varying pockets targeted by human missiles. The rest of the elite guys have a limited amount of tread before they’re eventually run over by a truck and whisked away on a golf cart.
How many NFL greats at any position were able to go out on their own terms? I’m surprised Jerry Rice can walk upright, to be honest. (That must be Copper Fit.) I mean, if you don’t have a child or a spouse by 35, you’re technically dead. Reproduction is the only goal, and the more people there are, the more meat there is for football.
I don’t know if you are aware of this, but the Earth is facing a population crisis, and the more people we can convince to participate in martial arts, the faster we can convert these two peaks – metaphorically speaking.
Wouldn’t it be easier to reserve death than to try to avert death? It’s kind of like, “You know you only had one day to live,” but only you know your due date. When someone says you have until age 45, I play running back, eat hot wings for breakfast, and mix in a shot of opioids for good measure. I’m leaving early? I cram in so much self-development if possible.
And maybe you live in a shotgun shack
And maybe you are in a different part of the world
And maybe you’re behind the wheel of a big car
And maybe you will end up in a beautiful house, with a beautiful woman
And you may be wondering, “How did I get here?”
I have no idea, but give me some timing, a little moxie, a lot of arm strength, and I’ll give you a beautiful house and a beautiful wife.