“Scandal” actress Kerry Washington opens up about her mental health amid her ‘toxic’ eating disorder, even admitting she considered ending her life.
Kerry Washington admits she considered taking her own life
![Kerry Washington admits she has considered suicide](https://d3stcg8iy7fvse.cloudfront.net/2023/09/21073633/Kerry-Washington-Suicide-scaled.jpg)
Kerry Washington interviewed Robin Roberts of “Good Morning America” for a “20/20” special airing Thursday. The actress shared how she contemplated suicide due to her eating disorder and “tried to destroy myself.”
“I could feel how the abuse was a way of really hurting myself, like I didn’t want to be here,” she told Roberts in a preview for the sit-down “20/20” special that aired on “Good Morning America ” Thursday. “It scared me that I didn’t want to be here because I was in so much pain.”
When Roberts asked her if she was considering suicide, Washington replied, “Yes. Yes… The behavior consisted of small acts of trying to destroy myself.”
.@kerrywashington opens up @RobinRoberts on how she says her relationship with food and her body once became a toxic cycle of self-abuse: “I had no control over it.”
“Kerry Washington: Thicker Than Water” airs Sundays 10/9c @ABC. https://t.co/bnnOTFBDMf pic.twitter.com/z0CxOXBqKd
— Good Morning America (@GMA) September 21, 2023
Washington further admitted that she prayed for her to get better. “The first thing that brought me to my knees – like the first time I got down on my knees and prayed to a power greater than myself to say, ‘I can’t do this, I need help’ – was my eating habits. disorder,” she told Roberts.
“I was good at performing ‘perfectly’. I was in good control. I could party all night and drink and smoke and have sex and still show up and get good grades,” the actress continued. “I knew how to manage; I was functioning so well and the food got me out of it. The body dysmorphia, the body hatred, it was out of my control and really led to me feeling like, “I need help for someone or something bigger than me because I’m in trouble and I don’t know how to do that.” has to do. live with this. ”
Washington’s ongoing struggle
![Kerry Washington at the 5th American Black Film Festival Honors](https://d3stcg8iy7fvse.cloudfront.net/2023/03/cropped-Kerry-Washington-1-scaled-1.jpeg)
The ‘Little Fires Everywhere’ actress previously opened up about her eating disorder in an interview with Essence, admitting she felt ‘ashamed’ of it.
“I would eat anything and everything… sometimes until I passed out,” she told the magazine in 2020. “But because I had a perfectionism-driven personality, I would tell people I was at the library, but instead I go to the gym and exercise for hours and hours and hours. Keeping my behavior a secret was painful and isolating. There was a lot of guilt and a lot of shame.”
Washington said she started therapy, which has helped her cope.
“Learning how to love myself and my body is a lifelong process,” she said. “But I definitely don’t wrestle like I used to. Therapy has helped me realize that maybe it is okay for me to express my feelings. Instead of literally stuffing them with food, maybe it’s okay for me to express myself.”
Kerry Washington is in a much better place
![Kerry Washington admits she has considered suicide](https://d3stcg8iy7fvse.cloudfront.net/2023/09/21073620/Kerry-Washington-Suicide-Attempt-scaled.jpg)
Fortunately, the ‘Scandal’ actress is in a better place, although she still has to control herself and be aware of her disorder.
“I wouldn’t say I never do anything with food, it’s just very different now,” she admitted in the “20/20” preview. “It’s not to the extreme. There are no suicidal thoughts, I’m not there anymore. But I know, ‘Oh, I’m really into this chocolate, this is good information for me.’ The bottom has come a lot higher, where a little discomfort is enough to know that this is a way to control myself. But it certainly looks a lot healthier. It’s a lot easier. It is a lot healthier than before.”